Sending love in troubled times: five unique gifts to give after a loss
What can we give someone who is grieving? Here are five ideas, both store-bought and DIY!
What do we give a friend or loved one who has endured a loss?
There are lots of options beyond the standard, yet beautiful, flower arrangement. From custom-made to store-bought, these ideas can help brighten the day of a grieving friend or commemorate their deceased loved one in a meaningful way. Don’t forget, though - if your garden is in bloom, cutting some flowers yourself can be a beautiful, thoughtful, and free gift (that was a bonus idea!).
(We receive no compensation for sharing any of the paid options below.)
Read about our gift ideas below, or see a video by clicking here!
1. Scrapbooking Supplies
Picking out a beautiful scrapbook, scrapbooking paper, and other supplies from a craft store can give your friend a tangible project to work on while honoring the one they lost. And scrapbooking gives them a way to transform photo collages commonly made at funerals into a reminder of the life their loved one lived.
A flower press, or using the old-fashioned wax-paper-in-an-old-book method, can also help preserve some favorite memorial arrangements into beautiful decorations for the scrapbook.
This type of activity can be very healing while moving through grief - and offering to work on the scrapbook with a grieving friend, with full permission to fall apart in presence, is the type of intangible, yet priceless, gift many of us really need while grieving.
2. Jar of Quotes
This keepsake jar of inspirational sympathy quotes by Kind Notes has a month’s worth of quotes, each in tiny little envelopes.
The ritual of opening the little envelopes and finding comforting gems can really help one get through a hard time. (They come in various colors and designs, and have jars for other needs - such as general inspiration, romance, and fighting cancer.)
Searching the internet for quotes and making your own daily notes in your own handwriting can add an even more personal touch.
3. Pocket Grief Books
As a result of her own journey with grief, author Kim Shute decided to make something to support others in the way she wished she had been supported while grieving the loss of her husband.
The result was two tiny books, Hints for Grieflings and Griefsurfing. She says:
I have created these tools to help when grief hits out in the world, like the grocery store, or when sitting at home alone after dinner and all the friends and family return to their normal lives.
Both tiny books are meant to be kept on one’s pocket, and pulled out during times of need.
Almost like words of advice from an auntie who has been through it, these sweet little books may just be the comfort your grieving friend needs.
They normalize and give words to the many movements of grief in a way that could be helpful for both children and adults.
The books can be found at PocketGrief.com
4. Personalized Garden Memorials
There are many options for personalized plaques, benches, and other garden memorials that one can place outside their home, or perhaps at a cemetery, to honor a deceased loved one. Many such options can be found with a simple internet search.
Anyone looking into this option might check out local farmers markets to see if any local artisans might be available to help create the perfect memorial gift.
You can even simply paint a rock in honor of the deceased as a meaningful, low-cost, handmade garden memorial.
While we love supporting artists locally and on Etsy, something like the above wind chime gift box can also be made DIY with a bell, string, some beads from the craft store, and a little handmade card.
5. Hand-Sewn Gifts from Clothes
Going through and purging clothing after a death can be a tough job. For the sewer out there, or those willing to give it a try, why not offer to make something meaningful out of some of that clothing?
If you can’t make a gift like this yourself, a professional like Deborah of the Etsy shop UpcycleHeirlooms can make some beautiful, clothing-based gifts for you.
The ideas are endless, from a pillowcase out of an old flannel shirt (this one is even no-sew!), to a cloth doll, to a patchwork quilt out of t-shirts (or sadly, all of those onesies some parents-to-be end up not being able to use), or a simple heart-shaped pillow out of a velvet dress.
This is one idea where the crafter can really get creative and offer a beautiful, comforting heirloom as a gift. One thing to note, is that in some cases the griever might actually prefer that the clothing not be washed so that they can enjoy the scent of their loved one for a while.
We would love to hear any other ideas or experiences you might have of gifting after a loss too! Please share any other ideas you have in the comments.
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